Medicate Me

My name is Holly and I'm medically frustrated. When I was 19 years old I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I was told that I would be on medication every day for the rest of my life. I. Hate. Medicine.

Following my diagnosis I had ultrasounds, biopsies, and other fun invasive tests to check the full gamut of potential problems. I stumped some doctors and seemed commonplace to others. Yearly doctors visits followed. I liked yearly.

Because of my severe disdain of medication (and the trauma triggers involved) it took me a very long time to get to a point where I was consistently take my medication. It was not fun, probably less fun for people around me more than myself. Every once in a while symptoms would reappear and I would gain a stronger resolve to take care of this body that I've been given.

Then grad school happened. I lost my insurance and did not see a doctor for almost the entire two years. Amazingly enough, I was asymptomatic the entire time. Heck, my husband even fell in love with me UNMEDICATED (as if that's possible)! I was obviously not so serious about my health then.

Flip to Moab. Small town. Limited physician options and pregnancy. Of course, pregnancy triggers this protective instinct to care for the little peanut even if you spent years putting your body through the wringer (in whatever way is preferred by the individual). All of a sudden, it's a huge deal to have a history of thyroid disease AND be pregnant. Ever doctor's visit brought a new medication, an increase in medication, an added vitamin, or something else to do. It was NOT fun. I hated it (still kinda do), but trusted that it was what needed to happen to have a healthy baby. (She's totally worth it by the way!)

Now, almost 9 months post-partum I'm still taking four pills a day, seeing the doctor monthly, supposed to be taking two vitamins...and two weeks ago one of my tell-tale "your thyroid is really out of whack" symptoms showed up and is still here. I'm not happy about it. I'm pretty overwhelmed actually. I'm taking my medication and something is still not right.

I'm frustrated because I can be asymptomatic with NO MEDICATION and symptomatic with four pills. My logic leads me to think I should STOP TAKING MY MEDICINE, right? I'm sure doc would not agree. This just means more tests, more meds, more fun things that I really don't want to have to do. Plus, it's not like I see him yearly, this is every month!

Yes, I'm whiny, but hey, it comes with the thyroid territory. At least I have my monthly checkup with the doctor on Monday. Let's get this all cleared up. I'm tired and going home.