Shame as a Gift

I did an assessment on a new client this week. 10 year old kid with bed-wetting issues. I seem to be getting a surge of clients that have issues related to my own past. In writing up his assessment I was thinking about his social isolation as a result. He doesn't participate in sleepovers out of fear that his friends will find out. Then it occurred to me that my own past bed-wetting issues were a gift.

I cannot tell you how many kids (and adults) that have disclosed abuse that happened when they slept over at a friend or family member's house. I also cannot tell you how many people had their first use of a substance at a sleepover. I have encountered some parents who have banned sleepovers for their kids and the kids have whined about the social stigma included in such a prohibition.

I'm not going to say it would have happened, but it could have. I was about 11 by the time I reached a solution. I could have been going to sleepovers with people that weren't safe. Someone could have abused me. I could have started on the path toward addiction. But I didn't. I'm not saying that sleepovers are the devil, but I think that sometimes our struggles can be a gift. Things that we see as inconveniences can be also seen as ways we are being protected. I certainly do not know the full design of things, but I do know that I would not be me if it weren't for the terrible and great things that have happened in my past.

Maybe the most difficult part of your life right now is really a gift that won't even make sense until weeks, months, or even years later. Maybe, just maybe, Heavenly Father knows what he is doing.