Not Do

I lived in Provo, Utah for five months in 1999. I was nineteen when I arrived and twenty when I left. To say that those five months were filled with challenges would be an understatement. I was frequently confronted with decisions and perspectives that challenged the things I believed and especially my beliefs about myself. Looking back on that time today continues to challenge me and make me grow. There were occasions in which I was faced with decisions which seemed easy and solidified my testimony of the Gospel. Times when I met just the right friend to present me with ideas that reminded me how much my Heavenly Father loved me and the lessons I was placed on the earth to learn. Of my entire time there, I can only recall one decision that seems to have catapulted a path that I did not recognize until this morning.

President Gordon B. Hinckley (the President of the Church at the time) was addressing the students at BYU. As is often the case, the meeting was offered live as well as on television on local channels. I don't recall the circumstances that influenced my decision, but my roommates all opted to make the very short walk to see and hear the prophet and I opted to stay in the apartment and watch from the safety of my couch. The roommates returned from the meeting speaking of how great it was and how the spirit lifted them and they gained an increased testimony of the prophet of God by being in his presence.

I made a choice that eventually led to a choice to NOT do something that would build my testimony. Whether that was a choice based upon being tired (not wanting to walk), lazy, having other priorities, a silly tiff with a roommate or whatever, the choice was made.

For my friends who have kids, I am sure, at some point, your children are presented with choices and earn consequences based upon that choice. We are working to increase awareness of choice and consequences in our home. This morning, the memory of my time in Provo and this decision entered my mind for the first time in a long time. I realized that there have been many opportunities to make a choice. I can make choices that can contribute to or remove the Spirit from being in my home. I can make choices that can reduce or increase my stress. I can make choices that bring me closer to or farther away from my testimony.

I think that recently I have been rather adept at seeing obstacles instead of opportunities. Whether it is in regard to my responsibilities at work or at home, I know how to see reasons why not to do whatever needs to be done. Sometimes it is because I am too tired. Other times it is because it has some type of emotional risk. Even more times I don't follow through because I don't trust my ability to be consistent with it. Primarily, the biggest barrier becomes the belief that I am undeserving or I make little impact by not doing it.

While at the conference last week I listened to a speaker that spoke in regard to "to-do lists" and suggested that we keep "to-NOT-do lists". Lists of things we need to stop doing to make our lives better. I'm working on my list. I need to not see the obstacles. I need to not neglect my physical, emotional, and spiritual health. I need to not make choices that interfere with my happiness. I need to not see my flaws first. I need to not ignore the important things in life.

What is on your NOT do list? What gets in the way of accomplishing those things?