Demons

I work with a variety of populations, but every Thursday I get to participate in our local Drug Courts. This opportunity provides some amazing moments of growth and transformation and some disappointing mistakes. Last week as I was sitting in court, watching the routine play out, my thoughts turned to the people in my life who did not have programs like this. Especially those that struggled with substance abuse and chose to make a change in their lives because of their own choice, not as a last resort. Many of these people, at some point, had to make a choice between drugs and their child or drugs and prison. To overcome addiction without that level of threat, with only the motivation within oneself, is admirable. Not that these participants do not struggle, but I appreciate so much those that have crossed my path that changed before they were provoked.

It makes me wonder if I am someone that creates change when I see the need or if I wait for myself to be provoked toward change. I know the answer on some days. I suppose that is one area in which I still straddle the fence. Still working to remind myself that it is about direction, not speed.