No Take Backs

There are some things that cannot be taken back. I'm not talking about a dress that was on sale. I'm talking about actions for which there is no return.

Yesterday I sat with a 15 year old girl who was regretting something that could not be taken back. Something that couldn't be undone. And I was later thinking whether I would react so calmly if it was Henley sitting across from me. I hope that I would.

Not that the behavior is something I approve of, but if I shut her down in her moment of extreme trust of me, those words can never be taken away.

There have been times in my life in which there were things that happened to me that could not be taken back, even through ownership and apology, the memories and the pain of it lies as residue on my days until something happens to remind me and the pain returns. Equally, I have not been completely innocent. I, too, have said and done things that cannot be undone. I have lost trust that has never returned. I have hurt people in ways I shouldn't have, but at the time felt very justified.

In more recent years, I have learned to hold my tongue. To think about how my behavior might seem to the other person. To pause and make sure the behavior was fair and accurate. I have no idea what has allowed me this level, but somehow it has happened.

Now the trouble seems to be, saying the things I ought in an effort to show myself respect and protect and defend myself. There is a delicate balance between being brutally honest and holding your tongue until you explode. Instead of reliving the moments I ought have contained myself and didn't, I find myself noticing moments I should have spoken up and didn't.

The great thing about that is, many things that are unsaid can still be said later. The things we do not do, but ought, we can start doing today. The things we shouldn't be doing, we can stop. Some are easier than others, I'm sure.

This morning as Henley was up sick, I watched The Social Network after a friend recommended it. I joined Facebook back when it was "thefacebook.com". It was young, and so was I. It has been nearly four months since I deleted my account. This does not remove me from being one of the first million or so. At the same time, the minutes and hours spent on facebook are things I cannot take back. Many of the things we cannot get back are things in relation to time. I will never get back the hours watching movies, TV shows, being online, etc. but I can choose differently what I do with my time.

Either the thing I choose to do is bringing me closer to Christ or it isn't. Sometimes, that is a harder choice than we think.